Prolific

I am a prolific cannabis smoker. These days I feel I use more out of habit than I do need. My new medication gives me the sensation of feeling balanced and provides me with the ability to cope much better but I have not managed to combat my weed demon.

I have craved to be drug free for years. I know that when I achieve this I will be a much better and all rounded human being. I’m unsure what holds me back. The fear of my thoughts, fear that my anxiety and insecurities will creep back in and I’ll resort back to quash the awful feelings that climb up inside of me.

I have a ten pound a day habit and on top of that living on a low wage. My goal for the next half of this year is to get off weed and be able to afford Xmas properly without stress.

Mary Jane has been my friend for so many years it feels like a breakup of sorts. But I’m coming to terms with the fact that now I feel like this will be my next issue to get under control and really become the woman I want to be and mature more healthily than I have before.

Fingers crossed.

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