I cant just let go anymore. Being out of my routine for this christmas period is proving to be harder than i anticipated. The extra socialising, the difficult small talk, witholding eye contact in a conversation. Im glad i brought my laptop with my excel sheet of bills and outgoings to keep me feeling in control of my life. Not being ontop of these can send me into a bad place. They are an anchor to my responsibilitys.
Christmas is a time of joy and laughter and i do feel christmassy. I managed to finish my shopping by a few days ago and have been finished and now just waiting for the big day. I can’t wait to see their faces!
Its hard for me to put on a front to everyone else outside my pride when daily functioning is a hard struggle. I love christmas but it takes it out of me at the moment. Leaves me feeling like im unable to be with the world still. Still not on my feet but so close.
Im looking forward to 2017. I really want it to be my year.
My best year yet.